PLEASE DON'T CALL ME ‘SIR’

“I’m sorry again for the inconvenience, sir, is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“Yes. As I mentioned I am non-binary and prefer they/them pronouns, and that is the 5th time you called me ‘sir.’ I don’t know who would be the right person to speak to about this, but I’d like to recommend you undergo some gender identity awareness training.”

“I understand completely, sir. So how would you like to be referred to?”

This is a small excerpt from a frustrating conversation I recently had with a customer service representative over the phone. One reason this struck me, specifically during Pride Month, is that this transgression came from someone at one an extremely large corporation that has used rainbow flags and pride floats to pander to the LGBTQIA+ during the month of June every year. To these large companies, that’s all that Pride is. A bunch of rainbows slapped onto a sneaker or a mug. Companies that control billions of dollars in worldwide assets, and have immense amount of power and influence over our society that is not being utilized nearly to the fullest extent of its ability. These companies do not seem to spend nearly as much time fervently denouncing discrimination and fighting for the rights of queer people as they do marketing towards those same people from which they want business. Many large corporations that you actually know and love, and possibly patronize daily, donate regulary to anti-LGBTQIA+ organizations.

According to Business Insider’s Kate Taylor, many companies in 2021 have approximately a 50/50 split between donating to Republican and Democratic organizations. These companies align themselves politically with traditionally conservative parties that will benefit them financially, while more publicly aligning with liberal parties that will benefit them socially. Insider names companies such as Amazon, McDonalds and Walmart in this group of industry titans that simultaneously donate hundreds of thousands of dollars both for and against legislation that protect LGBTQIA+ rights. However, to assume that the equal donations mean these corporations are impartial would be a fallacy. Walmart's PAC donations from 2019 to 2020 totaled $1.2 million, with an even split of $596,000 to Republicans and $596,000 to Democrats. In the vote for the Equality Act in 2021, “all but three Republicans in the House of Representatives voted against the Equality Act, saying it could infringe on religious freedom. That means Walmart donated nearly $400,000 to politicians opposing the bill” (Taylor). As long as companies like Chase and General Electric continue to give at least 1/2 of their donations to republican policymakers, they’re actively upholding discriminatory laws, and effectively eliminating any good they could possibly do with their donations to pro-LGBTQIA+ movements.

The reason that this attempt to display non-bias is actually just virtue-signaling is because they continue to use marketing tools that trick queer people into thinking that they are spending their money with a company that supports their community, then that company invests that money in policies that will police the lives of those same queer people. Give an inch, take a mile. They bate LGBTQIA+ with blanket-incentives that may make some people feel good, but inevitably does not do good for people. Some may be under the assumption that big businesses getting involved in Pride in-itself is a positive way to show support for queer people and represent the companies as allies. This is not the case, though, unless they back up their claims with action.

“Companies are increasingly caught between a desire to pursue bipartisan political alliances through donations and expectations that they support progressive social causes.”

— Kate Taylor, Business Insider

If you visit one of these company’s sites directly, it is very likely you will find some sort of pledge that looks like “Target Commits $10 Million and Ongoing Resources for Rebuilding Efforts and Advancing Social Justice,” or “JPMorgan Chase Earns a Perfect Score for LGBT Equality, 16 Years in a Row.” However, if you do a more general search of these company names along with the words “pride” or “pride month,” you will find headlines more similar to “Walmart, McDonald's, and Amazon are among companies celebrating Pride after donating hundreds of thousands of dollars to politicians who voted against the Equality Act.” It’s quite ironic that Chase has received a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index for the past 16 years, considering the fact that the last time they donated more money to democratic party over the republican party was in the 2002 election cycle (opensegrets.org). How, you may ask, can a company receive a perfect score on the on this index, if they’re robustly funding the campaigns of right-wing, anti-LGBTQIA+ policymakers? According to HRC National Press Secretary, Sarah McBride, the Equality Index does not consider political donations when scoring these companies:

“While the CEI [Corporate Equality Index] captures LGBTQ-inclusive policies, practices and benefits, there isn't a one-size fits all way to consistently score companies on the scope and impact of their political donations. We do monitor employers’ contributions to anti-LGBTQ ballot measures and organizations whose primary mission includes anti-LGBTQ advocacy. It is important for reporting like this that asks tough questions of corporations and brings these donations into the public discussion. The Corporate Equality Index is a critical tool for advancing LGBTQ equality in the workplace, but it is not the only tool” (McBride).

One quick trip over to the Human Rights Campaign website will easily outline the qualifications to receiving a 100% score. The criteria includes, but is not limited to, the assurance that these companies all have policies in place that protect and support LGBTQIA+ employees. 15 out of the 100 points are determined by the ‘Protection Policy’ for "gender identity or expression for all operations.” The “Supporting an Inclusive Culture & Corporate Social Responsibility” training course is liable for 40 out of the 100 points. The list goes on, and culminates with a disclaimer that says 25 points will be deducted for every anti-LGBTQIA+ indiscretion on record. Under this clause, entitled "Responsible Citizenship,” companies are held accountable for any of the following: “undue influence by a significant shareholder calculated to undermine a business’s employment policies or practices related to its LGBTQ employees; directing corporate charitable contributions to organizations whose primary mission includes advocacy against LGBTQ equality; opposing shareholder resolutions reasonably aimed at encouraging the adoption of inclusive workplace policies; revoking inclusive LGBTQ policies or practices; or engaging in proven practices that are contrary to the business’s written LGBTQ employment policies” (HRC).

With that being said, if the responsibility of the company lies not with their political affiliation, but rather with the ability to create safe spaces in their workplace, why do these companies reflect little effectivity of any possible gender identity inclusion training during their onboarding process? In the customer service industry, when your job is to provide attentive service for patrons, prejudice gets in the way often. Every company should have a required equality course in order to make sure everyone feels protected and embraced both as an employee and a customer alike. Forbes reported in April of this year that Chase made an initiative to remove gender specific language from their bylaws in order to come across as more inclusive to “women and non-binary people” (Wuench). This announcement came with no discussion of gender specific language in the workplace. The company has put forth no effort towards displaying aptitude with use of gender inclusive language, which is quite evident when you have so much as one conversation with a customer service rep from Chase, as outlined above.

These different types of performative activism are not exclusive to pride month, but have also been very prevalent in the way corporations have handled the Black Lives Matter movement. It’s very easy for a company to share an Instagram post of a black tile or a rainbow flag in order to seem like they are aligned with the progressive times, but it’s just as easy to search where these corporations put their money and see it is not where there mouth is. Companies like Target exert much more effort and resources to create an image for themselves as an entity with forward-thinking ideals than they do to actually employ techniques and strategies to assist those effected by discrimination. For example, LittleSis, a database of connections between powerful people and organizations, recently shared a list of major retailers, tech companies, and financiers that have been funding the police all the while projecting an image of solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, claiming to fight for equal rights for all. Target gives funding to the police force in 4 of the 8 major cities listed.

“Over 200 police foundations in the U.S. use dark money donations from some of the world’s largest corporations and polluters — including Chevron, Marathon Petroleum, Verizon, Walmart, Starbucks, Amazon, Bank of America, Target, Coca-Cola, Delta Airlines, Waffle House, and many more — to give massive amounts of funding to the nation’s biggest police departments outside of public scrutiny or budget oversight.” - Armstrong, LitteSis via GreenPeace

This phenomenon happens just as much internally as it does externally. I have witnessed first-hand while working in customer service positions, the way that corporate companies send encouraging email-blasts, Black Lives Matter or Pride t-shirts, and even host “inclusive” events in order to feign a sense of unity with their minority employees, all the while continuing to enforce protocol that subject their staff to constant microaggressions, if not full-blown discriminations, all in the name of the “customer always being right.” I have been in the room with WOC coworkers who are told to ignore the indiscretions that they endure from clients and “not let it get to them,” only moments after reading a company-wide email detailing the ways that they support the Black community. As I currently sit behind a desk at my corporate job, wearing a rainbow t-shirt that reads, “Budding With Pride,” my coworkers continue to use the wrong pronouns while referring to me.

CNBC recently released an article explaining that Citi and Mastercard are attempting to forge a deeper connection with the queer community through the initiative of a "True Name” card, which will allow clients to put a chosen name on their card, rather than their birth name. This campaign splashed onto the scene with a slogan that reads “Champion Your Most Authentic Self,” not too long after the company’s CEO was in headlines defending the pursuit of a relationship with the President of Brazil following explicitly homophobic comments. This makes it a little difficult for LGBTQIA+ employees to feel that they are genuinely being supported by these companies, and offers a explanation as to why major corporations entrenching themselves deeply into pride is not as helpful for “representation” as they think.

Since becoming a major holiday in America, Pride has fallen victim to widespread commercialization that has, for most of the past 50+ years of Pride, centered the conversation around white, cis gay people, despite the fact that the BIPOC and trans people are the most jeopardized lives in the queer community. Author John Paul Brammer explains that “the more corporate entities enter Pride, the more expensive celebrating it becomes. That means that more people, especially those from vulnerable communities, are excluded” (Washington Post). This poses a huge threat to the authenticity of pride being a safe space for queer people, especially in underserved communities.

Representation in media can be a huge tool in masses gaining a deeper understanding to how they are a part of/ effected by societal plagues like homophobia, transphobia, racism, and xenophobia; but the focus is shifted so easily to commoditization when marginalized people are not in charge of what that representation looks like. When corporations begin to involve themselves in queer spaces, it derails the movement from its original purpose to embrace all different and alternative lifestyles that do not fit the norm. Each year leading up to Pride, the cultural conversation shifts back to the debate over the presence of Kink at pride. Vice calls for this ‘Kink at Pride’ discourse to retire, quoting queer anthropologist Jamie Lawson saying that kink “can be viewed as an exploration of sexuality outside of mainstream structures and ‘respectable’ norms.” She continues to say, “the BDSM or kinky communities recentre sex around pleasure, not reproduction.”

Pride began as a celebration to commemorate the fight that queer people faced in order for queer spaces to exist and be accessible, especially to people of color and trans people. But, the more that mainstream culture sinks their teeth into what was once a sacred practice for queer congregation, the more that queer people are encouraged to conform the celebration into something considered more suitable/ acceptable to everyone, opposed to celebrating the true purpose behind Pride, which is for the LGBTQIA+ to be unequivocally and unapologetically themselves.

Alex-Abad Santos poignantly describes this feeling by saying that “one of the things that LGBTQ people quickly learn when they come out is that the ‘sex and respectability at Pride’ discourse is like the villain in a horror movie who is never, ever truly defeated, even if you burn the bones” (Vox). Santos goes on to point out the fact that, with all the struggles still plaguing the LGBTQIA+ community, fighting to be able to wear jock straps and nipple clamps down the street in a parade is important. The first Pride March signified resistance and a demand for equality, and has throughout the years been dilapidated into a glorified Macy’s Thanksgiving day Parade.

“While fighting about the merit of nipple clamps on parade can seem facetious, especially compared with more serious issues facing LGBTQ communities, it’s actually part of an older and ongoing tension that revolves around sexual identity and mainstream acceptance. The fight for LGBTQ people to be recognized as equal by mainstream society has often been stylized as a fight about what’s “normal” (e.g., loving someone regardless of your and their gender is a normal thing and should be accepted). But that equation has historically turned into an incremental fight over respectability, with LGBTQ people compromising certain aspects of their lives for baseline recognition. ”

— Alex-Abad Santos via Vox

These are the types of conversations that make the popularization of Pride outside of exclusively queer communities a direct link to making Pride a less uplifting space for queer people. It becomes increasingly more obvious that these companies’ many displays of solidarity for the LGBTQIA+ during Pride Month are performative, not just through looking at their political affiliations, but seeing the way that the vocal support disappears on July 1st. Anheuser-Bush can easily achieve their agenda of being perceived as allies by putting a Pride beer coozie on a Bud Light, but what significance does that represent for equality? I can assure you that a rainbow Svedka bottle does not give trans people the legal right to use the bathroom or participate in sports that align with their gender identity. You know what it might do though? Convince queer people to pick up that bottle opposed to any others on the shelf. It means that someone might walk into a Total Wine before a Pride party and think “oh, that rainbow bottle is perfect to bring!” It has always been about getting our money and never about fighting for our rights. Ellen Broidy, a member of the Gay Liberation Front and co-founder of the first annual Gay Pride March, questions the action behind Rainbow Capitalism: “What happens on July 1 when our seniors can’t get housing, and kids are being thrown out of their homes, and both trans women and cis women are being murdered in the street? Have that rainbow mean something 365 days out of the year” (TIME). It harkens back to the point that even executives in the top-rated LGBTQ-friendly companies very rarely have knowledge/ take action on issues that actually effect queer, trans, and non-binary people on a daily basis.

So, what is the solution? Many groups are beginning to have their own smaller prides that protest corporate and police involvement, specifically celebrating the more marginalized of the community. For example, Brooklyn Liberation is a Queer Trans POC collective in NYC whose initiative is to protect trans youth: “This is an emergency action in response to the more than 100 pieces of legislation that have been filed in over 34 states. There have been more anti-trans bills passed this year than in the last ten years combined” (@brooklynliberation on Instagram). They assure people joining the march that it is a PROTEST and “not corporate pride… no permit, no working with cops.” With the knowledge that these large corporations are continuously funding this legislation that effectively is leading to the increased rates of violence towards trans youth, it is no surprise that trans youth would not want corporate involvement in their gathering.

The overall idea that the past decade has been full of rapid change in our country, with a general sense of movement toward social justice, becomes hard to buy into when you see statistics such as those pictured above. Trans people of color are still being disproportionately harmed and murdered, yet major corporations profit off of waving rainbow flags and continue to get brownie points for doing the bare minimum. My experience with the customer service representative was not unlike what a lot of non-binary and trans people deal with very regularly just trying to exist within a world that is built for cisgender people. For QTPOC, the fight is not only never-ending, but it seems to get increasingly harder to make sense of with the amount of Pride merch that surrounds them walking into any establishment during June. Department stores such as Nordstrom over-promise and under-deliver the extent to which they support the queer community, displaying signs of unity stating, “We Are Committed to Equality,” that come across as very disingenuous when the follow-through is absent while helping customers like Trans Activist & WOC, Licca Lollipop. Licca took to her tik tok recently to recount an experience at her local Nordstrom that left her feeling devastated. Walking past the aforementioned sign on the door, Licca says, “gave [her] the boost of confidence [she] needed to continue shopping,” but upon entering the store Licca was rudely dismissed by a sales associate who was reluctant to show any response to her several pleads for assistance. This same sales associate became readily attentive only moments later when an affluent white women entered the space, leaving Licca to feel less-than in a store that just pledged that they are committed to making everyone feel “equal.” Licca reached out to corporate to make a complaint about this clear display of discrimination, and received a response that said they “do not tolerate this type of behavior,” yet the only action they mentioned taking was that they “may” move the employee to another department where she doesn’t have to work with customers. I would presume there are very few customer service positions that would require no interaction with customers. When marginalized people speak out to try and advocate for change, or even to just feel vindicated in standing their ground, they are often met with very little effort to make necessary changes in order to prevent these types of things from happening again in the future.

These corporations have no place being part in a celebration that they do not value in any other way than a monetary sense. Queer people, especially POC, trans and non-binary people, spend most of their lives feeling ostracized, having very few outlets of queer expression. The Pride Movement has frayed far away from the fight for liberation for ALL queer people once championed by activists like Marsha P. Johnson, Stormé Delarverie, and Sylvia Rivera, and further towards a celebration that uplifts white, cisgender gay people; thus, resulting in more widespread/mainstream acceptance and safety for queer people who fall under that category only. Pride is meant to be the one time and place where queer people can be surrounded by the feeling of love and support from their community. Corporations like Nordstrom and Chase that do not ensure all of their employees have the ability to affirm all gender identities while handling customers, do not deserve a spot at this table. When you begin to break down the way that language effects our daily interactions, it is obvious that avoiding gendered language is near impossible, but, there’s no feeling like when you finally hear someone call you the correct pronouns. Unfortunately progress isn’t always linear and sometimes there are bumps along the way, but hopefully this obstacle can be the catalyst to finding respectful formal alternatives for gendered language like ‘sir,’ ‘ma’am,’ ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs.’ When in doubt, using someone’s name is the best way to make someone feel comfortable in a space where people may be unaware of their pronouns/gender identity.